No Means No

Aquaintance Rape:
If someone pressures or forces you to have sex without your consent, it is rape. Rape is an act of violence, and it is a crime. Rape is about power and control. More often than not, the rapist is someone you know.

Rape is never the victim's fault. No one ever asks for or deserves to be raped. The only person responsible for the rape is the rapist. Anyone can be the victim of an acquaintance rape.

"Am I normal? I feel so. . ." shocked, mistrustful, guilty, angry, scared, betrayed, hurt.

Right after the assault you may feel a number of things. You may have trouble sleeping, flashbacks to the rape, nightmares, trouble concentrating, or physical symptoms (headaches, stomachaches, body pains). You may even feel like you are going crazy and will never feel safe again.

For your safety: As many as 90% of acquaintance rapes involve alcohol or drugs, and alcohol is a factor in nearly 100% of gang rapes. The best way to protect yourself is to stay in control of yourself. Don't get so drunk or high that you don't know what's going on around you.

Powerful drugs such as Rohypnol (Roofies) and GHB have become known as "date rape drugs" and can cause a person to pass out and/or forget events that occur while under the influence. When added to alcohol, these drugs act faster and can lead to coma or death. If you think a friend was given one of these drugs, take him or her to a hospital immediately.

The internet is a wonderful and fun resource when used properly; however, in the wrong hands it can be dangerous . . . even deadly. For your own safety, NEVER give your name, school, work place address or phone number to someone you meet on line. NEVER arrange to meet some you meet online by yourself.

If it happens to you:

• Call 911 or call VIBS Hotline (631) 360-3730 for an Emergency Room Companion (rape crisis counselor) to accompany you to the emergency room.
• Go to the emergency rooms of Peconic Bay Medical Center, Good Samaritan Hospital or Stony Brook University Medical Center to access a SANE Center, or call 911 for the Suffolk County Police.
• Avoid showering, changing clothes, eating or drinking before the examination; these activities can wash away evidence.
• You do not have to decide to press charges right away. At the SANE Centers the evidence can be stored for 30 days while you decide.

Get support. Surround yourself with people you trust. Call VIBS for free and confidential counseling and legal advocacy.